In these episodes I've used the words virtue and virtuous over and over again. I've also talked about living your highest values, taking for granted you understand these concepts the same way that I do. That's probably not the case. Today we'll sort this out.
Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you're listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.
Donald Robertson is a writer, cognitive behavioural psychotherapist, and one of the founding members of Modern Stoicism, a non-profit organization dedicated to researching and sharing information about applying Stoic philosophy to modern life. In his book, Build Your Resilience, he wrote, “The Greek word for ‘virtue’ (arête) is tricky to translate, but it's perhaps more accurate to say it means ‘excellence’ or ‘strength’, a positive quality that someone…would be admired for possessing, or that's ‘valued’, in other words.”
I mention this because there was a point in my learning in which I had trouble making use of my values. I could name them and list them, but I didn't know what to do with them. Upon reading that quote, it clicked. I started substituting the word ‘value’ with the word ‘excellence’. I was then able to answer what my values were in a useful way. Instead of asking, “What are my values?” it became”If I was operating with excellence, what would I be doing? How would I act?”
“Operate with excellence” was my mantra for a time. It evolved to “Exercise virtuous self-control” along the way, but that's a story for another day.
If you were to use the same word substitution, here are some other questions you could use.
How would you know if you were operating with excellence? What would that look like, sound like, and feel like for you?
If someone were observing you operating with excellence, what would they observe?
If you had to provide evidence of operating with excellence, what would you point to?
That quote from Donald Robertson also clarified virtue because of that new understanding of value. I started thinking of virtue as a value enacted. Again, it comes down to behaviour - what you do.
In light of all this, what might operating with excellence mean for your behavior in some common aspects of life? It might mean filling half your plate with fresh vegetables, if you value health in terms of how you eat. It might mean completing your resistance workouts three times a week for the next six weeks, if you value fitness in terms of how you exercise. It might mean scheduling time in your calendar for a date night every Saturday, if you value love in terms of how you relate to your partner. Or it might mean conceptualizing a new product line and presenting it to your supervisor by the end of the month, if you value productivity in terms of how you contribute to your employer.
Operating with excellence clarifies how to set a standard for yourself by translating it into behaviour. This will be an ever-evolving process. As your skills improve, you'll raise the standards you hold for yourself.
Why did I decide to bring this up today? My intention is to iterate why thinking in terms of virtue, as old-fashioned as this word seems to be, is a useful and powerful perspective today. Most everyone else is focused on chasing external goals and getting their happiness by accumulating things. This is the commonly mistaken idea that your experiences depend on your circumstances, as we explored in the episode Choosing Your Experience, Whatever the Circumstances. You can, instead, live your highest values as a matter of choice. Happiness and flourishing, another off-the-beaten-path concept which encompasses a deeper sense of well-being, purpose, and personal development, then become a natural way of life.
As to material success, that would then be a pleasant and more likely knock-on effect. I say “more likely” because exercising virtuous self-control is the most effective way of operating in the world. It's the foundation of all other personal excellence and the precondition for everything good in life.
You can become this kind of person. Don’t take this too far though. I'm not saying you can achieve any goal that you set for yourself. You can't always be with the person you want to be with. They might have other plans. You can't always be as healthy as you want to be. The body does what it does, as I've said several times. You can't always be as wealthy as you want to be. Those aren't things that are up to you alone. There are many other factors at play.
But you can choose to be the person you want to be. You can choose to set the intentions you want for yourself. You can choose to strive toward the life you want to experience. No one and nothing can stop you. Not even Zeus himself, as the ancient Stoics would put it. The only thing that can stop you in this capacity is your own choice to stop.
When you live as the person you want to be, the circumstances won't matter. The circumstances will still be relevant as far as being the material you use to exercise your choice, but they won't matter as far as who you are. Whatever else is going on, you'll have the strength to stay true to yourself when the world or those in it offer other options.
This is all up to you. No one even has to notice. You notice. You don't need anyone's permission. You give yourself permission. You don't need anyone's approval. You only need to approve of yourself.
You can exercise virtuous self-control in the moment of choice, whatever the circumstances. You can, but will you?
That's it for today. Catch you next time.
