Short story time. When Sarah started running every day at 5:30 in the morning, her friends thought she was crazy. “How do you get yourself out of bed that early?” they asked. “What’s your reward system?”
Sarah paused, realizing she couldn't point to any external reward. She wasn't training for a race. She wasn't getting paid. She wasn't even losing weight yet. Even though losing weight was definitely her goal, she hadn't noticed any difference since she started running three weeks ago. But something kept her lacing up her shoes every morning.
Hey there. It’s me, Kore. And you're listening to Exercising Self-Control: From Fitness To Flourishing.
How Do We Change When There’s No Immediate Reinforcement?
How does traditional behavioural psychology explain hypothetical Sarah's consistency? According to decades of research, behaviour change comes down to reinforcement. There is a reward that follows the behaviour closely enough to strengthen it.
But here's the thing. Most meaningful life changes require long-term commitments and the payoffs, the desired consequences, are delayed. The promotion comes months after the extra hours put in at the office. The physique changes appear weeks, maybe months, after the exercise practice starts. The relationship improves long after the difficult conversations.
This gap between action and outcome should doom most self-development efforts. Yet millions of people successfully change their behaviours without external reinforcement or immediate results. They quit smoking, start and maintain an exercise practice, improve their relationships, and transform their careers by simply choosing to change. How?
The answer points to a more empowering truth about human motivation:
You don't need to wait for external rewards when your actions align with your Preferred Self.
The reinforcement happens immediately. Not from the behaviour's outcome, but from the integrity of living consistent with your highest values and your most important goals.
Remember, when exercising virtuous self-control, we make our values actionable. We don't just ask, “What are my values?” If I answer with “Health,” for example, now what? It provides no means of living consistent with that value. Health is an abstraction. We can think about abstractions, but we can only act on concretes (i.e. the things that we can see and feel and touch). We need to act on them.
So instead, we ask, “If I was operating with excellence, what would I be doing? How would I act?” This provides clear directions for making choices consistent with that value, not just an abstract concept.
If you'd like more detail on that, check out the episode, Making Your Values Actionable.
The Values Method Framework
To capitalize on what we could call values-based self-reinforcement, use this VALUES framework.
V. Visualize Your Identity. Before focusing on behaviours, clarify who you're becoming. Instead of “I want to exercise” say to yourself, “I am someone who prioritizes physical health.” This identity shift transforms individual actions into expressions of your Preferred Self.
Practice: Write three identity statements that reflect your Preferred Self. For example,
I am a leader who develops others.
I am a parent who models healthy eating choices.
I am a professional who delivers excellent service.
A. Align Actions With Identity. Connect your behaviour to the vision you have for your identity, your Preferred Self. When you exercise you're not just burning calories, you are being the healthy person you've decided to become. This alignment creates immediate psychological reinforcement.
Practice: Before any action, ask, “Is this what my Preferred Self would do?” Then act accordingly.
L. Log The Alignment, Not Just The Action. Traditional tracking focuses on what you did. Values-based tracking also captures why it matters to you. Instead of “Ran three miles” write down “Ran three miles, keeping my commitment to being someone who follows through.”
Practice: Create a two-column journal.
Column one: The behaviour. What you did.
Column two: How it expressed your values.
U. Use The Discipline. Every day presents moments in which you can choose to be consistent with your Preferred Self or to be inconsistent. These moments (e.g. choosing stairs over an elevator, water over soda, patience over frustration) provide constant opportunities for values-based self-reinforcement or redirection.
You can check out Bridging the Gap Between Intention and Action: Part 2 of 2 for more detail on The Discipline.
Practice: Strive to use The Discipline at least three times a day.
E. Embrace The Internal Scorecard. Shift from external metrics to internal metrics. Instead of measuring only pounds lost or money earned, measure your integrity. This is the consistency between your stated values and your lived actions.
Practice: Rate each day on a 1 to 10 scale: “How well did I live according to my values today?”
S. Stack Supporting Structures. While values provide internal reinforcement, external structures will still help. Design your environment to make values-aligned choices easier and misaligned choices harder.
Check out Structuring Your Environment for Success for more detail on this.
Practice: Identify three environmental changes that support your Preferred Self. For example,
Place your running shoes by your bed, ready to go for the morning run.
Delete apps on your phone that waste your time and don't help you realize your goals.
Schedule recurring time blocks in your calendar for your important work.
The Insight That Transforms Everything
The most profound insight from behavioural science isn't about rats pressing levers or pigeons pecking at keys. It's about the uniquely human capacity to create meaning from our actions. When we understand that living according to our values provides immediate reinforcement, we unlock a sustainable source of motivation that doesn't depend on external circumstances or delayed outcomes.
This shift from outcome-based to values-based self-reinforcement transforms everything.
Exercise becomes an immediate win. Not because of calories burned but because you kept a promise to yourself. Difficult conversations succeed the moment you have them. Not based on the other person's response but because you honoured your commitment to honest communication. Professional development pays off instantly. Not through promotions but through the satisfaction of growth aligned with your vision.
The science is correct. Self-reinforcement through artificial rewards doesn't work. You can't trick yourself into behavior change with gold stars or point systems. But the science misses the deeper truth.
When your actions flow from your core values, every choice becomes its own reward.
The parent who models healthy habits for their children, the professional who maintains high standards despite shortcuts available, the person who shows up consistently when no one is watching. They all tap into the most powerful self-reinforcement system we have: the immediate satisfaction of exercising virtuous self-control.
Tomorrow morning you'll face countless choices. Each one offers an opportunity to experience this truth. Not through complex reward systems or distant goals but through a simple question: “Does this action align with my Preferred Self?”
In that alignment lies all the self-reinforcement you'll ever need. Behaviour is what counts. Not because someone else is counting, not even because you are counting, but because you are what you consistently choose to do. Your identity lives in your patterns of choice. And that is up to you.
That's it for today. Catch you next time.
